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| 37 weeks pregnant, and walking the runway for this year's Go Red for Women Celebrity Fashion Show. |
I woke up on Monday morning to back-pain, cramping, contractions that were 5-6 minutes apart, and a winter storm warning. School for our first-grader was canceled the night before, and the snow was on its way. We decided to have my sister come over to stay with the kids, so Papa Saigh and I could head to the hospital. While I wasn't in excruciating pain, what I was feeling was definitely different than all the pre-labor I'd been experiencing for about a month. We probably moved faster and reacted to the situation more quickly, because of the storm on the way.
When we arrived at the hospital, I was hooked up to the monitor and examined by a nurse. I was dilated to 3cm, and 60% effaced (I was a 3 and 70% at my 37-week regular exam on Thursday).
Dang it.
The monitors showed I was having contractions, and the vaginal exam by the nurse was pretty intense (I'm pretty sure she was trying to help move things along). After about 20 minutes, the nurse took me off the monitors and had me walk around for about an hour. I decided to jog, as I was determined to make progress and get this baby out. I started bleeding quite a bit (pink, some red, and dark brown) while I was jogging, which I got excited about, because that could have been my "bloody show". However, I also knew it was most likely from the intense vaginal exam by the nurse. While jogging around was incredibly uncomfortable and painful, I was dilated to a 3+ (AKA 3.5) during my exam an hour later.
Yay! However, in hindsight, this isn't much progress.
My nurse had a second nurse come in to give a second opinion, and she agreed that I was a 3.5. They decided to keep me for another round of monitoring, as they didn't want to send me home in the snowstorm. However, the reality is that doctors won't assist with labor until you hit 39 weeks. If you don't progress (dilate, water break, etc.) on your own, they send you home. I did another round of walking/jogging, but was still dilated to a 3.5 upon examination, and the doctor made the decision to send me home.
F*ck.
I felt so defeated, and was in a lot of pain from all the exams. I knew they made the right decision to send me home, but when you're so hopeful about having your baby, it's incredibly frustrating to be sent home. When I came home, I literally collapsed into my bed from emotional and physical exhaustion, and I had a good cry in the bathtub while Papa Saigh took care of the kids.
After the kids went to bed, I laid in bed feeling defeated, but realized how lucky I am to have such an amazing support system. I also realized that the baby just isn't ready to come out yet, and it's still early. I decided to change my mindset, stay positive, and try to be patient. While I'm incredibly ready to meet this baby, I know I will miss being pregnant soon after he or she arrives. So, I need to enjoy the moment, no matter how painful and uncomfortable things may get. It's temporary, and I'll never get these moments back.
So, here I sit at 37.5 weeks pregnant. My nether-regions are beyond sore, and the baby feels LOW. But I lost my mucus plug last night! Walking is painful and uncomfortable, but I need to keep moving, and simply rest when I need to. Our little bubs will be here before we know it, so I'm doing my best to live in the moment.
